Freshmen year of High School for me was also Freshmen year for a lot of things in my life. I started to become involved in Hardcore right around that time.

What attracted me to Hardcore, and Straight Edge more than anything was one simple idea, individualism. Individualism certainly can be a broad term, but simply put I like to define it as the principle or habit of or belief in independent thought or action.

In no way am I saying that I had any idea of what that concept really was when I first discovered that it is a major component in Hardcore. Like I said, I was a freshmen, I was 15. But I can tell you that the concept of individualism hit my life like an atomic bomb.

BANE drew me in with one simple straight forward message, REASONS NOT RULES. Straight Edge became very enlightening to me, a label that said, I make decisions for myself, not simply by emotions at a certain time, but also by flexing my head, thinking, using the knowledge that I have, and weighing consequences. And anytime I heard Straight Edge being talked about it was always discussed as being an individual, being a black sheep, being you, and quite simply, REASONS NOT RULES.

Fast forward to now, 2011, 5 years since my freshmen year of high school. The Straight Edge has become something that I simply cannot wrap my mind around.

There are many reasons, that are very deep and very personal and very intellectually thought out for me not to do drugs, or drink, or smoke. But if I wanted to, I could make the choice to smoke, or drink, or anything, right now. That being said...

“Breaking Edge” is the first problem that has been assaulting my mind. If Straight Edge is ultimately about individualism, then the only “Edge Break” would be being committing yourself to a group mentality, but because there is this Straight Edge “commitment” and “breaking edge”, it is not about individualism anymore, it's about fitting a mold of a group of people who have also made the same choices to adhere to the same rules. that throws out the reasons completely. on top of that many Straight Edge kids say that they don't smoke because they're straight edge. This makes absolutely no sense, because Straight Edge is not a reason.

I'll wrap things up with this. WHAT IS STRAIGHT EDGE? If it's something individual then I would be able to tell you what it is and what it means to me. But every 16 year old kid wearing a Have Heart shirt says that it is a completely straight forward set of do's and dont's, a bunch of rules. That is not individualism. If straight edge is not individualism, then I do not want that label.

Am I Straight Edge? I don't know anymore. I may have grew, I may have changed, and to myself I will stay true. If you're 16 and straight edge, i'm sure you'll be the first one to tell me that I am not. But that's cool, I hope this shakes your whole brain like a fucking earthquake and maybe it will encourage you to think for yourself.